Tag Archives: love

Appreciate What You’ve Got

13 Aug

Trigger and I on our most recent family hike in the Olympics.

So my husband has been gone in the Olympic Mountains this past weekend with a friend.

Time by myself is often revealing because I have to stand on my own again.  I get so used to having him around and having an interconnected life that it is hard to switch over for a few days.

It has been nice though.  I took the dog out with me places, had lunch with a friend, cleaned out the garage for our gym space, did homework, listened to podcasts, and watched movies that he wouldn’t wanna watch with me.  Nothing out of the ordinary, but different when I am on my own.

It makes me feel more independent to have this time by myself.  I sit down and think about who I am and want to be because I am not distracted by the normal routine.  I think by re-centering myself it ultimately makes me more attractive to my husband because it reawakens all the things he fell for when we were dating.

In the daily grind of life it is hard to stay vibrant and not get bogged down by to do lists, chores, and routine.  Sometimes, it is nice to wake up from the fog of the daily grind, and be filled with ambition and the motivation for greatness!  It isn’t that I don’t feel that in my normal life, but it is re-energized when I am by myself for a few days.

Nothing has changed.  No new revelations.  I just feel more energized for blogging, business school, CrossFit, nutrition, faith, family, friends, and my husband.

Ultimately, although having him gone gives me a chance to recharge, I am always excited for him to get home!  Life isn’t meant to be lived alone, and all the accomplishments in the world feel meaningless without people to share them with.  I am appreciating my relationship, life, and all that I have been blessed with!

Are you feeling blessed today?

Do you need some recharge time?  Even a few hours makes a big difference!

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Virtues of a Wife

28 Jun

I was at a military ceremony the other day, and the retiring Admiral quoted vs. 10 of Proverbs 31 to describe the virtues of his wife.  This prompted me to re-read this chapter and  get some relational inspiration.

Even if you aren’t religious, these beautiful words provide a beautiful picture of what to strive for as a partner.  They show a strong, confident, capable woman with all the character qualities of someone patient and loving and true.  

If you are married these are good qualities to shape your actions and character after.  If you are not yet married, these are the qualities that truly speak to a man and make him want to align his life with yours.  I have highlighted a few words that speak to me, enjoy:

Proverbs 31 Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Halfway There: An Honest Look at This Years Goals

22 Jun

It is almost summer and that means the year is already halfway done.

If you are like me, you made a list of goals to start the year off.  Making goals is a great first step to learning and growing, but it is always good to review them periodically and see how it is going.

So that’s what I am going to do today!  I will fill you in on most of my goals for this year and find out what ones I am doing great at and which ones need more focus.

I followed Zig Ziglar‘s wheel of life plan for making my goals.  It is the concept that there are 7 main areas of life that need to be balanced.  If one is out of line, then everything starts to get shaky.

Here are the 7 areas and my goals:

  1. Physical: Lose 20lbs by the end of the year and get down to 135lbs.  Accomplish this through portion control, CrossFit at least 3x a week, swimming/running once a week, Paleo+butter and cheese.
  2. Financial:  Become debt free by May 2012. Finish 3 month emergency fund by the end of the year.
  3. Intellectual:  Read one business/self-development book a month.  Take 3 classes this year for college.
  4. Family:  Go on more regular dates with my husband.  Call my mom and sister at least once a week.
  5. Social:  Hang out with a girlfriend every 2 weeks.  Call a friend from home (Syracuse) once a week.
  6. Spiritual:  Listen to a podcast once a week.  Spend an hour every week contemplating life and goals.
  7. Career:  Score well on my Navy rating exam (for promotion).  Get a great evaluation at work.

So there they are.  Now it’s time to see how it is going.

  1. Physical: Well, I haven’t lost any weight, but I haven’t gained any either.  Nutrition is my downfall.  I don’t drink alcohol or coffee so at least once a week I will have gluten free pasta or full on gluten filled pizza for fun.  Portion control when I eat these things unfortunately goes out the window.  The past couple weeks I have been feeling fed up with myself on this issue. I have now been a week of Paleo+butter and some dairy, and I am feeling good about keeping it up.  On the upside, I am seeing great improvements in strength and metabolic capacity from my workout program which is encouraging!
  2. Financial:  We’re debt free!  As of May 15th we paid off our last school loan.  We have begun saving for our three month emergency fun and I feels great.
  3. Intellectual:  I am averaging one book every 2 months.  A bit slower than I had wanted but still progress.  I am also in my second college class and on track to take a third before the year is out.

    My sis and I. It is really important to me to stay close when we live far away!

  4. Family:  Dating my husband at least once every 2 weeks is a blast.  Getting out of the household routine is really fun.  I have been keeping in fairly good touch with my mom and sis as well.  Some weeks are really busy, but we usually make up for that.
  5. Social:  Calling friends from home is great, especially since we are moving back in a year and a half.  However, I struggle with making time for girlfriends out here.  Everyone is married and several have young baby’s so it is sometimes hard to work that out with schedules.  I want to work on this area.
  6. Spiritual:  No podcasts, but lots of time spent contemplating.  I think this is an area I would like to spend more time in.
  7. Career:  I am really happy with this area.  I scored well on my test and am moving closer to promotion.  I also got a good evaluation.

Overall,  I am feeling fairly balanced.  A bit more time in the spiritual and social areas would do me good though.

I like having direction and goals to move forward to, but I also try to be realistic and cut myself some slack.  Goals should be inspiring, not a vehicle for guilt.

How are you doing on your goals?  Have you accomplished any big goals so far?  What do you want to change?

40 Years of Marriage

29 May

That’s right 40!

Two days ago my great parents celebrated their 40th year of marriage!

I am amazed by them!


When you are young and only a few years into marriage like myself, it is hard to imagine life 40 years down the road with your spouse.  That is what I vowed and certainly my heart, but still hard to picture.Have you ever thought about it?  What do you want it to look like?

If you are like me, maybe you picture having kids, grand kids even, and a life filled with love, family, and friends.  People are at the center of that picture!

A meaningful life is filled with people, not things or empty accomplishments.  


Every day in the present builds towards the future, so what I value everyday becomes what my life centers around years down the road.  I need to make conscious decisions to put my relationship before things that don’t matter.  I need to love purposefully and not take people I love for granted.


Some good lessons from 40 years of marriage!
Thanks mom and dad I love you so much!If you want to leave a comment on this post click here.

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The Art of Being and Dreaming

22 May

Yesterday was a great day! 

Hubby and I had the day off together, and after a whole morning of homework for me, went to Barnes and Noble for fun.

We each grabbed a book and started reading.  It was really nice to just be together.  We didn’t have to talk… just be.  You know you have someone great when you don’t feel awkward just being.

What’s funny is that I feel closer to him doing something like reading than when we watch TV together.  Hmm…maybe because my brain is engaged?

Anyways.  After reading for a bit we moved on to dreaming of what is to come.  We like to do that a lot!

In about a year and a half we are going to move back home to Syracuse, NY, and hopefully buy our first house shortly thereafter.  We had some fun looking at houses, talking about what we like, and what we want our life to look like there.

I think dreaming is a good thing!

It defines what we value in life as a couple, and inspires hope for the future!

I think being is a good thing!

It means we are living in the present together, and enjoying each others company.

How do you be with the one you love?

What to you dream about together?

Tell me about it in the comments!

Remember you can like KickAssWife on Facebook, subscribe via email, and now follow me on Twitter  @kickasswife!

Want to read more? Check out these posts:
5 Things I Love About My Husband

Supporting Your Spouses Dream’s and Goals

Love Language: Communicate Your Love Effectively

What A Guy

16 May
20120515-204350.jpg

Hubby sporting his mustache for the “March Mustache Madness” competition that we do at work. Needless to say he won the competition, and the facial hair is now gone!

I just have to say…. I have a great guy!

Since I have started school and he has finished for a bit, he has been such a huge help around the house.

It is really nice to feel like I have a partner and teammate in life.

I hope you are as lucky!

The best thing is that I didn’t wine or nag to get his help. I just helped a lot when he was in school and he noticed and wanted to return the favor.

He also does a few things that I hate doing (making the bed, emptying the dishwasher) which is great.

So that’s why I had to tell everyone how great he is and how much I appreciate him!

Marriage is about being in a partnership. It’s about give and take based on needs and wants.

Love is service

Just something to think about…

What Love Is

21 Nov

At my wedding and pretty much anyone else’s I have been to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 has been read.

Just in case you aren’t familiar it goes something like this:

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.

Sound familiar?  The thing is that if you are anything like me this is so familiar that I sort of skim over it as I read.

But there was a speaker that switched this verse up for me and I will remember it for the rest of my life.

He said that if that verse is the definition of love, let’s spin it around and define hate:

Hate is impatient, hate is unkind.  It envies, it boasts, it is proud.  It is rude, it is self-seeking, it is easily angered, it keeps records of wrongs.

Hate delights in evil, and despises the truth.  It never protects, never trusts, never hopes, never perseveres.  Hate always fails.

When you put it that way any time we are impatient, unkind, boastful, rude, we are showing hate instead of love.

It is very easy to sugar coat the principle of love and think of it as roses and daisies, but when we look at our actions everyday what are we communicating?

No one is perfect and can communicate love all the time, but it sure is a worthy mission to strive for.

Read more posts in The Love category.


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