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40 Years of Marriage

29 May

That’s right 40!

Two days ago my great parents celebrated their 40th year of marriage!

I am amazed by them!

When you are young and only a few years into marriage like myself, it is hard to imagine life 40 years down the road with your spouse.  That is what I vowed and certainly my heart, but still hard to picture.Have you ever thought about it?  What do you want it to look like?

If you are like me, maybe you picture having kids, grand kids even, and a life filled with love, family, and friends.  People are at the center of that picture!

A meaningful life is filled with people, not things or empty accomplishments.  

Every day in the present builds towards the future, so what I value everyday becomes what my life centers around years down the road.  I need to make conscious decisions to put my relationship before things that don’t matter.  I need to love purposefully and not take people I love for granted.

Some good lessons from 40 years of marriage!
Thanks mom and dad I love you so much!If you want to leave a comment on this post click here.

Remember to like KickAssWife on Facebook too!


Need Help Finding Your Way?

4 Oct

Marriage is difficult and confusing.

Marriage is fun and exciting.

Marriage is something that you shouldn’t do alone.

When we are just starting out in marriage, or have been together for years, it can be difficult to know what to do, how to respond, and what to say sometimes.  We usually need some help to find our way.  Here are some places we can go to find answers.

Find a mentor.

A mentor is a trusted counselor and guide.  It is pretty valuable when we begin marriage to have some women in our lives who have been there.  Women who have marriages we admire and have knowledge they can teach us.  Why make mistakes when you can just learn the right way?

I have been really fortunate to have a great sister that is 12 years older than me.  Older in life, experience, and wisdom.  She has been married over 10 years and has some great kids!  I credit a lot of my success in marriage so far to her and her husband.  Before we got married they sat my husband and I down and told us about Rules of Engagement and other important aspects of marriage.  This allowed us to start off on the right foot with some working knowledge of how to be married.

Find a couple.

Sometimes, going to experts and getting some help is the best answer, so find a couple you trust who has been married for a long time!  Do you have grandparents that seem happily married after 40 years?  Ask them about their experience and what they think has been important in their success.

My husband and I did this last Christmas and their answers were great!

Find encouragement in your friendships.

Hopefully this will be my friends and I when we are older!

Women can be known to gossip.  Sometimes this includes complaining to our friends about our husbands.  Instead of doing that, lets talk to our friends about the great things about our men!

In my circle of friends, we try to talk about what we are doing to improve our marriages and the lessons we are learning.  We each discover something new and deepen our relationships with eachother in the process.

Find some great books.

We don’t know what we don’t know, but the moment we realize we don’t know something it is our responsibility to go find out.  This is where some great marriage books come in.  It isn’t a sign that your marriage is in trouble when you pick up a marriage book. It is a sign that you care.

Who do you have in your life that you can go to for marriage help and advice?

The D Word: Saying a word plants a seed.

15 Sep

“Divorce.” There it is. Even thinking about this word feels like someone is dropping a bag of rocks on my chest.  Now let’s be clear: my husband and I love each other and have never been in a place to think about divorce.  But I don’t have to be there to think about divorce and feel my guts ripped out.

Before we got married, we decided that word was out of our vocabulary when we spoke to each other.  That may seem silly but it represents a mentality.  If it gets too rough, I have a way out.  Why should it be any different than dating? If we fight all the time, and don’t feel in love anymore what is holding me back? Here’s the thing, for us there is no way out.  There is only deeper.

Have you ever noticed that when you are looking for a Nissan Xterra, they are suddenly everywhere?  What we focus on, we see.  I think that if you let the word “divorce” into your brain and your heart, it’s natural to try justifying its existence there.  You could end up dwelling on faults, ignoring efforts, and creating a mental state where eventually, there is no other option.

Take charge of your brain and heart!  When you get married, define what that commitment means.  It’s easy to say “it will NEVER end” when you are deeply in love, but what holds that together after the first few years?  YOU.

Kick-Ass Wife Defined

12 Sep

What is a Kick-Ass Wife?

Urban Dictionary defines it like this:

if somethings kick-ass, its really cool. Great! As in it kicks the ass of all else.
Another definition I found was this:
Kick-ass describes something that is really impressive or powerful. (adjective)
Sounds like a great way to be described to me!  Personally, my goal is to be an awesome partner to my husband.  I can achieve this through respect, patience, honesty, and love.  I also want to be socially relevant.  Women who are wives and mothers are a huge facet in society and have the power to create change, love and help those who need it, and encourage one another to greatness.
What does being a kick-ass wife mean to you?
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