3 Ways To Have Your Spouse Do What You Want

3 Oct

Have you ever been frustrated about a task you asked your husband to do?

Did it not get done?

Did it get done, but not in  the time line you wanted?

Did it get done,  but not to your standards?

Here are three things you can do to help the situation:

  1. Stop Nagging.
  2. Stop Nagging.
  3. Stop Nagging.

It’s pretty simple, but harder in practice.  We hear women nag their spouses in public, tell our girlfriends our troubles, watch women on TV do it, and read complaints on the internet.  Going against the grain is hard work, but here are some tips I found have helped in my own marriage.

Guidelines on Making a Request:

  • Make an initial request, then leave them alone.  Unless you really think they forgot what we asked them to do, don’t mention it again.  This is sometimes difficult when we want something done on a time frame, but if we want help and genuine willingness the timing should be their own.  Often, time lines are ones we set ourselves and upon second look aren’t truly essential.
  • Let your spouse know the importance to you personally of what you ask.  If they can get “the why” they may be more willing because it has meaning apart from the task itself.
  • Don’t ask them to do something unless you really don’t have the time/resources/ability to do it yourself.  We don’t want to make our spouses feel taken advantaged of, and if they see us sitting around while they are working on tasks they may start to feel that way.   Try doing it yourself. When you get to the point where you can’t do it, they will appreciate your initiative, and will likely want to step in and save the day.
  • If there is a specific way you want something done lay that out initially.  Take into consideration whether these are your standards, or if something truly will go wrong if it isn’t done this way.  The worst thing we can do when our spouse is helping us out is complain about how they are doing it.  Even worse is going back and correcting it.  If you really are that specific, do it yourself.

In all our interactions, we want our spouse to know that we value them and their time.  Being smart in our requests is one way to accomplish that.

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