Why Are You Telling Me This?

30 Sep

Recently I started telling my husband a story about an acquaintance I had made and their kids.  Something shocking had happened and I thought he would be interested.  I started my story and part way through he said, “Why are you telling me this?” 

I was put off for a second, but realized that he was right.  I was taking FOREVER to get to the point.  He couldn’t figure out why I thought this was relevant to us, and where I was going with it.

Thinking some more on it, I realized that women communicate with each other differently than men. (NO DUH!)  When I talk to my girlfriends the experience of the story is just as important as the content and point.  This needs to switch a bit when we talk to our husbands.

My husband wants to know that what I am telling him is important and relevant to us in some way.  If I had prefaced my story with “Hey, this weird thing happened and it’s making me think about how we will raise our kids someday”, he would have had some idea about where I was going.  There would have been a point from the beginning and my story would have made sense.

This doesn’t go just for stories, but everything!  It is important that any time we communicate with our spouse we are clear and effective.  We can avoid confusion, frustration and hurt feelings when we get to the point.

Although not directly related, I thought this post from Art of Manliness on making an effective pitch was helpful when learning more about effective communication with my spouse.

Have you ever had your spouse wonder, “why are you telling me this?”  How have you learned to better communicate with your partner?


One Response to “Why Are You Telling Me This?”

  1. Laura October 3, 2011 at 09:53 #

    Oh my gosh yes! HAHA! Wow I do this to him ALL THE TIME! Thank you for sharing this. I don’t think he’s ever even said that to me but I’m sure he’s thought it PLENTY of times!

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