The D Word: Saying a word plants a seed.

15 Sep

“Divorce.” There it is. Even thinking about this word feels like someone is dropping a bag of rocks on my chest.  Now let’s be clear: my husband and I love each other and have never been in a place to think about divorce.  But I don’t have to be there to think about divorce and feel my guts ripped out.

Before we got married, we decided that word was out of our vocabulary when we spoke to each other.  That may seem silly but it represents a mentality.  If it gets too rough, I have a way out.  Why should it be any different than dating? If we fight all the time, and don’t feel in love anymore what is holding me back? Here’s the thing, for us there is no way out.  There is only deeper.

Have you ever noticed that when you are looking for a Nissan Xterra, they are suddenly everywhere?  What we focus on, we see.  I think that if you let the word “divorce” into your brain and your heart, it’s natural to try justifying its existence there.  You could end up dwelling on faults, ignoring efforts, and creating a mental state where eventually, there is no other option.

Take charge of your brain and heart!  When you get married, define what that commitment means.  It’s easy to say “it will NEVER end” when you are deeply in love, but what holds that together after the first few years?  YOU.

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One Response to “The D Word: Saying a word plants a seed.”

  1. Laura October 3, 2011 at 09:57 #

    This sounds familiar. Hmm…. lol

    Very good way of entering into marriage. We’ve never even mentioned the “D” word in regards to our relationship. It really is a nasty word!

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